Havrilesky uses diction to show that she feels the expectation of mothers to be "moms" all the time is unreasonable. In the first paragraph she uses the word "violently" to describe the change in women becoming mothers but also says one stays the same underneath. The role a mother is expected to take is described as "all encompassing" which is used to prove Havrileskys point that motherhood is now viewed as a task that requires constant attention. In the fourth paragraph the word "mommies" is used to show how a group of women can be classed together only by the act of having children, and also makes the piece less formal. In the next paragraph Havrilesky talks about how mothers are seen as an "alien" breed, cut off from the rest of the world because of their parent status. Diction is also used to display sarcasm, such as jokingly repeating the word "mommies" after discussing how a group of parents were described as this and calling mothers "a strange breed".
Havrileskys use of figurative language starts in the first paragraph when she relates becoming a mother to a weather forcaster saying that a tornado will give a town "an extreme makeover". She is trying to show that she understands that becoming a parent is a huge change, but then the rest of the essay shows why being a mother is not the only character trait a woman with children possesses. Havrilesky also brings up the "Mommy bow", or the imaginary thing that a mother is supposed to be; one person that can be neatly described and placed in a box as a mother.
Detail is used in this piece to show specific examples of people being classified as only mothers, and to bring to light the unrealistic expectations society has for these people. Havrilesky used examples of everything; Mothers are displayed unrealistically in TV, movies, and modern fiction. She discusses specific events such as being referred to a group of mommies at a soccer game and an example of a man mocking her and some friends at a bar. These details add credibility and highlight the specific issue in society today.
In recent years more and more has been expected of being a mother, an already daunting task. Havrilesky eloquently shows the unfairness of this stereotyping and categorizing through memorable words, specific details, and figurative language.
Alice, this was a very well written post. I really like your thesis in the first paragraph because it pulled together everything you were going to be saying in a nice concise sentence. I also liked how you used many examples in each paragraph to strengthen your points. Once in a while instead of just using one or two word phrases of quotes I suggest incorporating full sentences or phrases in. It just gives the reader more textual context and could help make your arguments even stronger. The other thing you need to include is a link to the actual article. I thought your piece was good but I would have liked to read the actual article too. I thought your format of intro, bodies, and conclusion was all very well structured. Another thing you could think about would be transition sentences from one paragraph to another. Overall nice work!
ReplyDeleteAlice, don't forget to include the title and link to the article. One tiny thing that I would recommend changing is adding a space between paragraphs to make the distinctions between them a bit more obvious. This isn't necessary, and Holmes won't take off any points for it, but it really helps the reader.
ReplyDeleteIn the first paragraph you have many examples of diction supporting your thesis, but I feel that a solid conclusion sentence to that paragraph to connect all of these examples directly to the thesis would help make it more clear to readers how diction as a whole contributes to your thesis. You do this effectively for your paragraph on details, but it would really help with your first two body paragraphs.
I like your conclusion a lot. It's succinct and gives the reader a good summary of what he/she has read. Overall a solid post. Good job!
Hi Alice,
ReplyDeleteWell done post just don't forget your article link! You did a good job describing how the author used DIDLS to make the article successful. A nice addition would be to separate your paragraphs or add indention of some sort to make it clear where your paragraphs begin and end. I really liked how you used evidence and then clearly explained the evidence which some people fail to do (surprisingly).
Great job
Alice--I do see progress this time, from last month--you've got some really effective quoted examples, and clear warrants for these examples, in each support paragraph. I'd like to see you coming back and polishing your work based on peer reviews, though. Here, it would have been such a quick fix to add in the link to the article, for instance.
ReplyDelete